#TW: ABUSE

[batwynn]

About 9 hours ago my mom looked at me and said she’d never even imagine saying the things her mom said to her. This is after 3-5 years of me gently breaking down the abuse she’s been through for her entire life at the hands of her parents, and also-gently reminding her that she broke the cycle of abuse. I’d always have to go a bit sideways at it, like approaching a feral cat, because no one wants to be bludgeoned over the head with such a thing. She’s been so hurt, for so long, and it’s so complicated because of course she loves them. She’s been grieving the people she loved and thought she knew, grieving the death of her father, filled with guilt for not being able to help him more than she already did (and not recognizing that she did literally everything she could for him, including but not limited to putting her life on the line for him) and grieving very little for herself.

So for her to say that out loud to me is… huge.

She also was full fever brain after a covid booster so I don’t know if that will stay with her or if she’ll fever-forget but I need to find a way to acknowledge it better today than my tired-brained ‘yeah, because you were never the asshole even when they kept trying to convince you that you were’ from last night.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this as a reminder: it doesn’t matter if it takes a long time to come to terms with your abuse. It sucks, because you deserve to have your abuse recognized and start healing asap. But you’re not faking it, it did happen, and it was not ‘not that bad’ just because it took time for you to recognize the abuse. Sometimes it takes 50+ years, and it’s almost never linear. Five days from now she will be sure that she was the problem once again because that’s what she’s been told her entire fucking life. And it’s fine. It’s ok. I’ll remind her of the truth as many times as I need to. Healing is complex, and weird, and hard. Give yourself the grace and patience your abusers never granted you.

[warblogs17282]

Have some more reasons why I think Moxxie and Stolas have the potential to become friends at some point.

Daddy Issues - Having your life already be decided for you.

Moxxie was the child of the leader of the mob family, Crimson.

From when Moxxie was young, Crimson made sure to show Moxxie that if he ever disobeyed him, that he would kill Moxxie, effectively forcing Moxxie into the mob life, forcing Moxxie into the life he has planned out for him.

And well, the episode makes it pretty clear for multiple reasons why Moxxie hated being forced into the mob life, but I think the moment in the prison is the best example I can show you all. The scene where Moxxie is happy and grateful towards Blitz because Blitz is saving him from Crimson, because Blitz is saving him from being thrown right back into the mob life once again.

"Once I got out, I never looked back."

Moxxie never looked back in the direction of the mob life.

As for Stolas, he's the son of the king Paimon, born into the Goetia family as a prince.

"it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family."

"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"

"Also, son, you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. So, you are now engaged."

Paimon's usage of the word destined can tell us that this was planned out in advance, and the usage of 'true part of the Goetia family' makes me feel like Stolas wouldn't be considered a 'true part of the Goetia family' if he refused to marry Stella, if he refused to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. We don't exactly know what consequences that would entail for Stolas, but I can only imagine that the consequences would be quite bad.

Which in turn, effectively puts Stolas under metaphorical gunpoint to do his duties, marry Stella and sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. Therefore, having his life already decided for him, and his father forcing him into this life he's planned out as well, especially considering Paimon literally says that the future marriage is non-negotiable.

And well, it's very clear that Stolas doesn't want to marry Stella, just look at how Stolas reacts to seeing the picture of Stella.

Which gets me nicely onto my next section,

Daddy Issues part 2 - Arranged/Forced Marriages.

Now sure while the forced marriage to Chaz ended up falling through big time, and that Moxxie is married to the person he loves, Moxxie still had a brush with an arranged/forced marriage in s2 e3.

Crimson is quite literally physically forcing Moxxie to marry Chaz here, because at this point, Crimson still thinks the marriage will benefit him and the mob he runs.

And well, I just explained that Paimon put Stolas under a metaphorical gunpoint to marry Stella, aka, forcing Stolas to marry Stella, to go through with the arranged marriage to be a 'true part of the Goetia family'. With the benefit to the Goetia family and Paimon being the birth of a precautionary heir.

Again, this line from Paimon.

"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"

Daddy Issues Part 3 - Physical Abuse

It's pretty clear that Moxxie was most likely physically abused by Crimson, mainly because as both a child and an adult, Crimson just straight up grabs Moxxie's face to force Moxxie to look at him while he's speaking, there's other things that point to Moxxie likely being a victim of physical abuse, but this and the thing I'm about to show you are the bests examples I have.

There's also Crimson threatening to kill Moxxie if he disobeys him, but that's something I've already talked about in this post, so let's head to my next example.

In the flashback, we see Crimson literally committing domestic violence against Moxxie's mother, and Moxxie also witnesses this as well. With this further showing that Crimson is very much willing to commit physical abuse in order to make people stay in line.

While we don't exactly know how present Paimon was in Stolas' life (although everything points to him being almost never present in Stolas' life so far), what we do know is that Paimon is also quick to hit Stolas to keep him in line, with Paimon hitting Stolas on his head because he bowed to an imp, someone much lower than him in the hierarchy.

Plus, it's been made quite clear to us that Stolas was also the victim of domestic violence at the hands of Stella for years upon years, with Stella's reaction to Stolas catching her hand during this scene being all the proof we need of that claim.

Generally Absent Mothers.

Moxxie used to have his mother in his life as a child, but other than a few flashbacks and a painting, the show makes no mention of her, and I believe this is because she was murdered by Crimson.

I want you to look at her shoes during this scene.

And at a later point of the flashback sequence, a shoe floats up that appears to match (although the black lines on the bowtie of the shoe are different between these two scenes, but that's probably just an animation thing) pretty much perfectly, making the theory that Crimson killed Moxxie's mother pretty likely to me.

As for Stolas, we don't exactly know anything about Stolas' mother yet, but she hasn't been seen or been mentioned at all, so at this point in time I'm guessing she was just never in Stolas' life.

Finally, we have,

Gaining the courage to stand up to their abusers.

So in conclusion, while Moxxie and Stolas have had very different lives and upbringings, I do believe that there's quite a few common points between Moxxie and Stolas that I've just mentioned they could relate to each other about, which could be a factor in Moxxie and Stolas becoming friends at some point down the line, if the show chooses to go down that route.

Of course there's also the fact that Moxxie likes musicals and Stolas would be likely to also enjoy musicals as well, giving them an activity they could both enjoy together, but I've mentioned that plenty of times before so I'm not mentioning it here.

[bonefarm]

While we are on the subject - financial abuse is not always just physically taking money away or not having a savings account or escape stash. For a lot of people it is the other spouse sabotaging your credit score, constantly overspending, and you being unable to trust that joint household bills and loans are paid. Did you know that once you add an authorized user to your bank account it’s nearly impossible to remove them without their permission? Did you know that your spouse, who likely knows your birthday and SSN, can often gain access and reset passwords for any online accounts and create new ones?

Financial abuse will ruin your life and there’s really nothing except significant time that fixes it. If you are in a situation where you think this might happen to you you should freeze your credit with all three major agencies. You can find info on how to do this at USA.gov/credit-freeze

This is not something that only happens to tradwives. You are not exempt because you are independent or competent.

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce’s Favorite Batkid…according to the Batkids (aka the most biased narrators possible):

Dick: “Well, Bruce adopted Jason first, and hit me over his death, so Jason, obviously.”

Tim: “Bruce nearly killed people and himself over Jason’s death…he just used me as a guilt trip.”

Jason: “Uh, the Golden Boy, obviously. *cough* KGBeast *cough*”

Steph: “I mean, he only revived one of us…so it’s gotta be Damian, right?”

Duke: “Can you guys stop competing over whose death he reacted the worst to? Anyway Barbara’s so useful with the tech and also kinda scary, so it’s gotta be her.”

Damian: “Drake is most similar to Father and inherits his company. He is clearly in the favored position.”

Barbara: “He remembers literally every problem you guys have caused; Duke just hasn’t had the chance to cause as many problems yet. No offense, Duke.”

Cass: “Me. He thinks…I am him. He is wrong.”

No one thinks Steph is the favorite.

[taraljc]

Everyone waiting for members of the SF/F community to weigh in about Neil Gaiman and Tortoise Media's podcast, please remember that a lot of people in light of recent revelations are having to recontextualise relationships and events going back decades.

Not just fans. Peers, friends, and family need space and time to process.

You may have known someone your entire adult life, who has treated you with kindness, patience, affection, and support who is also capable of doing others harm. Cognitive dissonance is human. Grieving relationships that may have only existed as equal in your own mind is still grieving.

I genuinely hope that everyone who has been harmed finds healing, comfort, and peace, and that reparations are made and lives can go on without further suffering.

Believe the abused when they come forward. Hold abusers accountable for their actions regardless of intent.

Mourn, and go on.

But most of all take whatever steps you can to prevent further harm, and send a clear message to your community that deliberately doing others harm will not be tolerated, and those who choose to prey on others shall be held accountable.

[timkontheunsure]

I think people too often conflate toxic and abusive relationships.

One of my last exs and I were a bad fit, because of where we were. He was mid trauma of AFAB, and I'd only seen abusive romantic relationships so I put up a lot that I shouldn't. (Every red flag was just a flag to me).

We were desperately clinging to eachother, trying to put up with the hurt to save the other. Because we feel like we were eachothers life jacket.

We were toxic together because our trauma landmines made us hurt eachother without knowing were were doing it.

But we weren't abusive, because that carries intent. We're still extremely close friends, and both of us are still hurt by what we did to eachother because it was fucked.

But abuse is a decision. One that's normally makes the abuser own life easier. Like Stella using Stolas' SA as a funny anecdote, to isolate him from being able to make friends at the party. (Their kid is 17 but Stella still using his dissociation to keep him from a support network 18 years later).

Or her deciding to kill him for he embarrassed her in front of her friends. Because if he's of not use to her, she might as well get some fun from his torture and murder. She can't (won't) give him a divorce, because him getting to walk away and have a good life would be her lossing.

It's not Blitz yelling that he's overwhelmed or not mentioning Striker's first attempt, and it's not Stolas' calling Blitz his "impish little play thing" or kissing BTB.

Because they weren't meaning to hurt eachother with those.

Blitz screaming and kicking in door is very triggering for Stolas. And not telling him someone wants him dead nearly got the job done, but Blitz through Stolas safe because he's immortal.

Stolas' calling Blitz a plaything and other microaggressions make Blitz feels like a fetish and looked down apon.

But Stolas doesn't understand the privilege he has, and is really that thick that he doesn't understand he's being demeaning.

Again still very fucked up things to do, but they didn't sit down and plot 'how can I hurt this person mwahaha'. They genuinely care, and are both trying to cling to the other because their drowning. Drowning people don't try to hurt someone helping them, but you can get pulling under all the same.

Abusers aren't the person who could drag you under by accident, their the fucker that ordered you out of the lifeboat in the first place. And get their fun kicking you back in anytime you start to get a grip on away out of the water.

I've ended up chatting with people about gaslighting Vs real memory issues before. Real memory issues won't all convenient work for their good. And yer gaslighting is done on purpose. It's done to undermine your reality, and shape it to something helpful for the abuser.

You can have all the evidence in the world, that they were being a git; but when you try to point it out it's like trying to make an argument on shifting sand.

And if you do manage to call them on it, don't be surprised that they'll go right back to the version that makes them look best next time it comes up.

This looks like how Stella is framing the arranged marriage and divorce to her kid (trailer). It's gone from neither of them loved eachother to Stolas never loving Stella.

Like how Andrealphus makes Stolas' "cheating" into something that can be used to try and get more money.

Instead of something all 3 of them know Stella doesn't really care about other than it makes her image look bad.

Stolitz can work through this together, becoming something other than toxic; because they do care about and love eachother. And work to not keep hurting eachother moving falwards, it won't change that they have hurt eachother in the past.

But unlike unlike with an abuser they do want the best for eachother other.

I was just scrolling through my dash and found a post that really made me think.

This is a vent type post so it's below the cut if you don't want to read that. Also spoilers for Helluva Boss.

It was criticizing people who like the stolitz ship because "stolas and blitz are abusers" and that immediately made the ship wrong.

First of all, it really made me pause and think about the media literacy of people who watch shows like Helluva or Hazbin but can't look deeper than the character's direct actions. Yes, they're both assholes. But there's far more to it than that. Both of them have been fundamentally changed and affected by the ways they were raised; Blitz is avoidant of love and affection because his dad used him for money and his mom died in a fire he was blamed for. His best friend and love interest shunned him for years over a misunderstanding and everyone he loved turned their backs on him, his own sister included. Whereas Stolas is a prince who was in a very abusive arranged marriage and has this idea of love that comes from operas and movies, a very over exaggerated "shout it from the rooftops" rose-tinted shades type of love that quite frankly is impossible in our world and the show's. His relationship was horrible and he escaped into the worlds of movies and songs, and this gave him an unrealistic view of love.

Second, acting like people can't be shitty in relationships and still love one another is ignorant. Personal vent below.

I have a long term boyfriend; and we recently had a very heated fight because we both wanted things from the other that we couldn't communicate clearly. We both said hurtful things that we didn't mean. It doesn't make us abusive; it makes us human. People aren't perfect.

I feel like this criticism struck a particular nerve for me because I myself relate a lot to Blitz. I was in an abusive relationship, and that kind of thing changes you in ways you can't really describe to other people. I became very codependent and reserved, and after the relationship finally ended I felt even more lost than when I was in it (similar to Blitz fighting for his "relationship" with Stolas back, despite knowing it's unhealthy) because I had become so used to the chaos that calm felt like a threat.

You can say hurtful things and not be an abuser. Stolas is absolutely completely non self aware and he said hurtful things to Blitz because of it. That doesn't make him this horrible caricature of an abuser. He literally doesn't know any other method of love. He doesn't understand how his actions affect Blitz because he's a damn prince. Of course he's going to be out of touch and self-important. It also doesn't make him innocent.

Neither of them are innocent. They were both assholes to one another. But that doesn't make them abusers. Good lord people

[mrsdarkandyandere7]

(Dark!) BNHA: Toxic Relationship

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

Female Reader

Boys -> Hawks + Bakugo + Dabi + Deku

Reaction: Moments from your toxic relationship with your Pro-Hero boyfriend.

WARNINGS: Toxic Relationship; Abuse; Manipulation; Non-con.

AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.

Let me know if you like this reaction format or what 🙂

–

Hawks

“Y/n is a real clutz, y’know. Can’t even walk on even ground without tripping over her own feet.”

Your cheeks flame with humiliation as the camera pans to the crowd that laughs heartily at the demeaning words, as if Keigo had dropped the funniest joke they’ve ever heard. 

“That’s adorable.” the woman laughs, “Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she has no quirk? I believe you said she is quirkless, right?”

Keigo chuckles, nodding as he crosses an ankle over his knee.

“She sure is. Can’t even imagine what type of quirk she’d have, she’s just not the type.”

Your hand grips the remote tighter. What does he mean by that? Does he think you’re not good enough to have a quirk?

You consider turning off the TV, but fortunately the interviewer changes the subject. They casually speak about the current stance of heroes and their struggles on fighting off criminals and villains.

Keigo is charming as usual, delivering answers that are a perfect portrait of responsibility with a sprinkle of humor. He’s good like that, even though his previous answers left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Somehow, they end up reaching the topic of hobbies and free time. 

“Going Pro Hero leaves little time for myself, so sadly I don’t really have much time for hobbies. Wish I had.” he says humbly. “My girlfriend has lots of them, though.”

You inhale sharply. Not again. 

For your misfortune, the woman gets interested.

Perhaps because it’s an exclusive interview and her network channel gave her orders to squeeze every drop of information they can get on Hawks’ personal life. 

“What type of hobbies? She looks like she’s a great cook.” she tries to guess, but Keigo bursts laughing, holding his belly in an exaggerated mannerism. 

“Nah, cooking isn’t really her department. Burned eggs and half-cooked pancakes are more her style. She doesn’t even-”

You change channels in a heartbeat, bursting in tears at the low insults.

You’re not that bad. Sure, you’re not amazing at cooking, but never once did Keigo complain when he eats the food you diligently make after he returns from patrols. 

And now he slanders you on national television? 

And the worst part? It’s not even the first time he’s done this. 

Dabi

“There’s nothing to eat in the fridge.” 

“There is.” 

“There isn’t.” 

You stop writing your notes, swallowing back an annoyed sigh, already aware of what was happening.

“There is food in the fridge.” you repeat, “You just have to cook it.”

Dabi looks at you, unimpressed. 

“No shit Sherlock. Maybe you can do it for me.” 

“You serious?” 

Meeting his arrogant smirk, you huff. 

“Dead serious, babe. Not like you’re busy anyways.”

Your mouth drops at his audacity and you open your arms to indicate the mess of books, papers and pens in front of you. 

“I’m studying, Dabi. Can’t you see that? Grow up and cook for yourself, yeah?” you snap your attention back to your books, but your mood has already turned sour. 

You pretend to scribble down a few words when Dabi walks to you slowly. He peeks into your annotations, snorting. 

“That handwriting is kinda shitty.” he mocks you. “Besides, what exactly are you even studying for? You’re not exactly cut out to be a doctor, y’know? Not enough brain cells in you to become that.” 

You glare at him, angrily swatting away the hand that condescendingly tries to pet your hair. 

“You’re such an asshole, Dabi. Maybe if your life revolved around something other than your stupid daddy’s issues, you would actually get a job. Not like Endeavour is worried sick about you, not when he’s got Shoto.” you spit the words venously.

Not the nicest words, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to bother. 

A dark shade crosses Dabi’s face, his amused expression turning colder. You’d be lying if the sight didn’t ignite some fear in you.

“Is that so?” his crooked smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “And why would I need a job - or Endeavour, by that matter - when I have you?”

His hand reaches for your shoulder and there’s an edge in his eyes that immobilizes you. You shouldn’t have mentioned Endeavour. 

“I’m not with you because of that bitchy attitude, you know. I like my girl to know who’s in charge. Respect is really important in a relationship and your behavior is making me really upset, baby.” his tone is scaringly soft, and his hand travels to your neck.

You hold your breath when the staples on his hand scratch against the delicate skin of your throat. “So, if you need me to remind you of your place, I’ll gladly help you with that.”

His fingers heat up at a low temperature, not enough to actually burn you but it doesn’t stop the lonely tear that slides from your eye, the only sign of the chilling terror you’re feeling.

He leans forward, kissing your forehead before sliding his hand away. 

“Are we understood?” 

The nod you give him is shaky at best, but Dabi smiles nonetheless. 

“Now, how about that food you’re gonna make me?”

Bakugo

“I have to wake up early tomorrow.”

Besides a low hum, Bakugo doesn’t acknowledge you much, too busy French kissing your neck.

His hands head for your ass, provoking a wince in you when he gropes it with unnecessary strength, your left ass cheek being kneaded like it’s dough.

Katsuki uses his grip on your ass to push your hips forward even as you complain again. The thin fabric of his sweatpants does nothing to hide the hardness that shamelessly rubs against your thigh. 

“Katsuki.” 

Once again he gives no sign of hearing you, rolling his hips with more urgency and you barely catch the tired groan that almost rolls away from you.

The clock on your side reminds you that despite the early hour, you’ll only have 6 hours to sleep. 

You really have to sleep and if you’re being honest, tonight you’re not feeling sexy or horny enough to sleep with your boyfriend. 

But that doesn’t make you feel any less awkward when Bakugo’s movements turn more vigorous and needy, humping your naked thigh as if he’s fucking it while you remain as alive as a statue. 

“Fuck, this isn’t enough.” he growls against your skin, and your heart skips a beat when his hands reach for your shorts, tugging them down halfway until you panickedly grab his wrist, wiggling your body away from his.

“Seriously, Kats, I’m not in the mood tonight.” you say, quickly pulling back your shorts. 

“You fuckin’ serious right now?” he growls through gritted teeth, still hovering above you. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, you timidly nod. 

“Maybe we can do this tomorrow? It’s just that-”

“Yeah, whatever. Not like you haven’t used that stupid excuse on me before.”  

Your eyebrows raise with surprise at the bitter tone on his voice as he gruffs, pushing himself off you. 

“I’m not making up excuses.”

“The hell you aren’t.” he looks at you, angry. “Every time I try to start something, you turn into a damn nun. Always too freakin’ tired,  too busy or not in the mood.”

He scowls, spiky blonde hair falling to his eyes. 

“All you have to do is open your goddamn legs and let me do the rest, and you can’t even do that.”

His words hit a sore spot and he turns his back on you, settling on the distant side of the bed after delivering strained punches to the pillow to soften it up.

“Maybe I go after those Dynamite's groupies that are always throwing themselves at me. Since you never want to fuck anymore.”

You’re left too stunned to speak, sadness blossoming at the cruel meaning of his words and it’s a struggle to swallow the tears. 

He wouldn’t really, would he? But your mind lingers on the disturbing thought. He’s popular with girls, even with his angry mood.

Bakugo is tall, muscular and not even the ever present scowl in his face is able to contradict the attractive facial features he’s been blessed with. Meanwhile you’re just mediocre, if even that...

Your insecurities strike back, taunting you. 

Your hand reaches for his arm before you even realize it, and you’re mildly surprised when he doesn’t shake you off. 

“The hell you want now?”

Pulling on his arm until he finally turns to the side, you kiss him. 

He groans against your lips, allowing your hand to rest on the warm plane of his chest and you let it slide lower until it touches his clothed member. 

Neither of you speak a word, but you feel Bakugo smirking against your lips while he practically shoves your shorts down. 

You allow yourself go limp underneath him, letting your boyfriend fuck you in the way he wants to. Holding back a tired sigh when the fluorescent numbers on the clock mock you. 

You really have to wake up early.

Deku

“Are you serious, Izuku?” 

The tall hero jumps, eyes widening almost comically when he realizes you’re standing on the bedroom’s doorway and not cleaning the kitchen, like he clearly assumed you to be. 

“I wasn’t- The phone-” he stammers with his words, plowing your phone onto the bed with a bit too much force.

Crossing your arms, you flash him a frustrated glare.

“You promised me you wouldn’t spy on my phone anymore, Izuku.” your stern tone has him frowning and Izuku practically sprints closer to you.

“I wasn’t spying! I was just- just checking the time.” his words aren’t convincing enough for you to actually believe in him. 

You squint your eyes at him, dodging his grabby hands with a nasty slap, despite the hurt expression on his face.

“Izuku.” 

“I wasn’t! C’mon, you gotta believe in me.” 

You don’t. 

“Even if I did go through your phone - which I didn’t - why would that be such a problem?” he complains, dragging his voice. “Do you have something to hide or what?”

You point a warning finger at him.

“Don’t you dare. This isn’t about me. You’re the one who went behind my back because you’re just too insecure to fully trust me.”

He shakes his head, emerald eyes turning feverish. 

“You’re being dramatic, of course I trust you.”

“You don’t, stop lying.”

“I do trust you!” his voice rises in volume.

“No, you don’t!” you scream, voice breaking before you crumble in tears. 

You’re exhausted. Of arguing, of dealing with Izuku, of everything. When did things turn so frustrating, so tiring? Why does he always have to ruin things for you?

Izuku curses under his breath before rushing to you, engulfing you in a comforting embrace as you cry on his chest. 

“You don’t. You never will and I know that.” he stays silent, not contradicting you this time. 

He lets you cry on his chest, his hand gently caressing your hair as he mutters apologies. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Izuku hugs you harder, arms tightening around you. “I’ll do better, okay? I promise, I will.” 

And like a fool, you accept his promise - even if you know it’s meant to be broken.

[incorrect-gravescest]

[source]

💚: ...I can't believe this fucking worked.

🩷: See? Now that everyone hates my fictional boyfriend Clyde, they'll pay out the ass for me to move out and you and I are sitting pretty. And you said my Hollywood makeup kit was a waste of money! Not so much a waste now with these movie-quality bruises, is it?

💚: Even for you, this is fucked up.

🩷: I'm over here playing chess to help secure our future and you're stuck playing whack a mole. Morals don't pay the bills, beloved.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense. 

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it. 

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit. 

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims? 

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing? 

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased? 

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own. 

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends. 

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust. 

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

[tealvenetianmask]

Does Blitz blame himself for Cash's abuse?

Stick with me, and I'm truly sorry.

All of the people except Cash featured in the memories Rolando shows Blitz are people who Blitz has cared deeply for and felt like he hurt, failed to get close to, or let down.

Let's look at them (again, yes)

Tilla

Fizz

Verosika

Loona

M&M

Barbie

A whole lot of Stolas

So. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is Cash Fucking Buckzo. Doing in this line-up?

Well. Hurting Blitz, horribly. My first meta on this scene didn't really capture this, but as many have pointed out, this is Cash grabbing Blitz's freshly burned wrist after the fire and smacking the ever living shit out the burned side of his face. Presumably blaming him for the fire and everything (and everyone) lost from it. And then Cash telling Blitz in the hospital that Fizz doesn't want to see him.

It's emphasized too. Right after we see the memory of Cash hitting Blitz, we see Blitz physically flinch while watching it.

So if this is just a compilation of horrible memories, maybe that's all there is to it.

But if it's a grouping of the people Blitz cares for, well . . . it makes sense for it to be that, doesn't it? Blitz has a lot of love in him, and yet he's scared of intimacy. His trauma is ABOUT hurting people, losing people, driving people away, craving closeness that he can't have . . .

Being an abuse victim is complicated. Being a family scapegoat is complicated too. A lot of abusers try to make the victim think that they're ACTUALLY the cause of their pain and everyone else's, and we already know that Cash did this to Blitz (literally in this same set of memories in the hospital).

But we also saw it in The Circus when Blitz was much younger, and saw how much this tactic got to Blitz.

Cash guilts his son into going into a dangerous situation for him. If Blitz doesn't do this, their lack of resources, the possible suffering of his parents . . . it will all be Blitz's fault.

And Blitz cares deeply (he always has!), so he does it.

Now one might argue that Blitz says "of course I want to help Mama" here and leaves Cash out of his reply, so he doesn't love his father. But reality is often more complicated than that. He's upset here that Cash is forcing this on him. Cash hurts him. His mother (seemingly) offers much more love. That doesn't mean that Blitz doesn't ALSO feel some care and responsibility for his father's wellbeing.

I think that Blitz believes (or at least a significant part of him believes) that he destroyed Cash's life too with the fire, and that he deserved that beating and being turned away from the hospital and possibly many of the beatings and beratings that Cash delivered in the past. I think that in the moment when Cash grabbed him, he felt that he fully deserved the agony he felt when Cash held his wrist.

I think a part of him loved his father growing up and still loves him-- that there were moments between the incidents of cruelty where they had fun together as a family, and where looked up to his dad and wanted desperately to win his approval.

I think that Blitz has a lot of anger toward Cash too, and that a part of him always knew that Cash was wrong to hurt him. He had a whole lot of resilience and defiance in him even as a young kid.

I think that he felt guilty for all of the times he felt angry at his father. I think he might still.

I'm off to cry and then grab my pitchfork and storm wherever Cash is living nowadays. Who's with me?

[crisiscutie]

dollhouse

One of my yandere musings inspired me to write this! I always found the idea of a yandere Sephiroth stealing the darling of Fluffy Sephiroth to be really interesting, so why not do it now? Fair warning though, these are pretty gloomy.

Pairing: AC Sephiroth/Domestic Darling.

Content Warning: NSFW. Noncon. Emotional Abuse. Milk/Nursing Kink. Corruption Kink. Pregnant Darling.

Your weak moans broke the defeaning silence as he languidly fucked your cunt, his hand on your left thigh and the other on your right hip.

Damn your body working against you. Your cunt had a mind of its own; a trembling, gushing, wet mess that relentlessly pleaded for more of him.

But this wicked mockery of the man you loved disgusted your hurt mind.

You wished you were strong enough to support Sephiroth in the fight against his dark mirror...

His slit blue eyes and his twisted smile bore into you and your swollen, pregnant belly. It was clear that in his wicked fantasy mind, he thought this moment between you two was intimate, as if it was natural. It couldn't have been further from the truth, your truth.

"You've never looked so lovely before, my darling," he whispered, his velvety, "sweet" voice tainted with malice. He often tried to mimic your sweet husband to break you, but you always saw right through him. You won't give in. You don't want to.

He increased the power of his thrusts, coaxing a louder moan from your sweet lips, but still keeping that tortuously slow pace.

Oh, how you wanted this to end. How you wanted your Sephiroth back and live the happy life you two had before.

As his hand moved from your hip to your pregnant belly, you clenched your teeth, your protective maternal instincts triggering. No. No. Not your baby. Not what you had left of him.

But as usual, you couldn't move very much. It's like something is keeping your arms down, pinned to the bed. As much as you tried to move against this force, you only arched your back.

Your inner walls tightened around his cock as he delivered a particularly brutal thrust when you failed to respond to him.

"Our child will grow up to be strong. I will be the one to guide her - forever!" He growled.

His vast, dark wing sprouted from his back, wrapping you in its embrace as he continued to stroke your belly.

"You don't need to worry, darling. He's intertwined with me... a part of my very essence," For a brief second, his eyes widened as he said those last words.

He leaned down towards your pregnant belly, his lips hovering close but not quite kissing it.

You didn't react to what he said about your baby. Your focus was on his unsettling words. It's impossible, he couldn't be him. Your Sephiroth is still out there somewhere!

The initially gentle hand on your pregnant belly became possessive and rough as it moved up one of your milk-filled tits.

Your body twitched, a mixture of pain and pleasure unraveling within as he coaxed milk from your engorged nipple, his dark grin slightly widening at your reaction.

"Don't worry, darling. I'll make sure every drop of this precious milk is put to good use."

He squeezed your abused tit harder, reveled in more milk seeping over his hands and your belly. The traces of JENOVA'S imprint within your milk sent him into a primal frenzy.

His luscious lips hungrily latched onto your nipple, his tongue swirled around the flesh as he was determined to make true on his last words.

The thick and creamy liquid danced on his tastebuds, making his chest rumble with a twisted delight.

His cock constantly kissed your cervix, while only ever so slightly increasing his agonizing tempo. Even in his primal frenzy, he's still such a calculating bastard.

He released your nipple with a "pop" when he finally cummed inside you.

You screamed, feeling every drop of his corrupted seed mixing with your cunt juices. It's overwriting your desires and twisting your thoughts to fixate on him.

And it's disgustingly lukewarm, moving within you and coating every part of your insides like it's another entity. Why do you want more of it?!

He had a rare, radiant smile on his face, just like your lost husband. He watched tears streaming down your cheeks, your resistance finally started to melt.

Your husband was weak, he never deserved you... The man with you now could always protect you and your daughter. He could give you everything you ever wanted... Right?

Sephiroth licked the tears from your left cheek, before nuzzling into it and whispering softly in your ear.

"With me, all of my dolls will know true joy."

Next I do Yandere 7R Sephiroth musings? 👀

[konigsblog]

not sure if you've don this yet but stockholm syndrome with konig

like reader tryed to run once and after that became 'such a sweet thing'

TW: KIDNAPPER-KÖNIG, KIDNAPPING, ABUSE, RAPE. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. MDNI 18+

At some point, you can't resist König's 'love'. You're comforted by the abuse and rape, how obsessed König is over you. You enjoy having someone admire and dote over you 24/7. If anything, you crave it.

When König isn't with you, you fall into a depressive slump. You ignore the bowl of porridge on the dirty ground beside you, even when König has left a handwritten note left beside it. He'll be gone for the majority of the day, running errands, he says. The thought of being without König for hours leaves you weeping, your appetite now lost, and it becomes cold rather quickly. You play around with the sticky mush and distract yourself by thinking about your past, what life was like without König.

You've convinced yourself that your life without König wasn't healthy, that you were depressed and anxious constantly, never healing from anything. Now, that you are with your true love and soulmate, you can relax, let your guard down. König means so much to you, even when he love bombs you and leaves you alone for days, without food or water, only bruises on your soft skin and hips. He leaves blood and cum all down your thighs, only bathing you after three days. You sob at his comforting and familiar touch, the way the rough skin on his calloused hands graze against your body.

He may be sick and twisted, an abuser and a rapist, but to you, he's the love of your life, your reason to keep going. Or at least, that's what he repeats every single day, until you believe him and trust him, allow him to take control even if a part of you is screaming for you to defend and protect yourself from that sick, monstrous bastard.

[republicanidiots]

Nicole Simpson would be 64 years old if Simpson hadn't murdered her.

Fuck mourning OJ Simpson. He was a football player. Nicole was a young woman with children who tried to get away.

Here come the journalists weighing in about OJ Simpson's "complicated history" -- it's not complicated. He killed his wife because she wouldn't take his abuse.

[kayaks00n]

Something that bugs me the most is how people say Odysseus cheated on his wife but if a woman was in the same situation everyone would agree that she was raped. It shows me that they don't take male victims of abuse seriously

[nosyrobin]

Tw: abusive parent

Male!reader who is on the phone with an abusive parent: I…I don’t want to go home…

Reader flinched at the loud voice of his parent getting disrespectful towards him. Damian narrows his eyes as he noted to make a visit towards a certain place.

Damian snatches the phone from reader who looks shocked.

Damian (enraged): he’s staying with me.

He hangs the phone up and leaves the room to a worried and scared boy.

Later that night…..

A window crash is heard with a scream. The abusive parent who was on the phone screams for mercy as a 12 year old boy with a katana is chasing them.

Damian: YOU SHALL TASTE MY BLADE!

[liminish]